


say the words that i can't say

by pinknwink



Category: DREAM!ing (Video Game)
Genre: Hanahaki AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 21:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinknwink/pseuds/pinknwink
Summary: hanahaki: coughing flowers





	say the words that i can't say

**Author's Note:**

> //small warning: takaomi has a potty mouth //

“Sensei!” Touji called out, hand shooting straight up. “Nito-kun is not present.” 

Kiritani sensei paused almost comically from writing on the whiteboard, turning to take a quick scan of the classroom only to find that there, indeed, was less orange than usual. 

“Hm.” He grunted. “Takaomi?” 

All eyes seemed to turn toward the boy immediately. 

Takaomi slunk further into his seat in response. “Hell if I know.” He barked out. Followed by a softer, “he said he was sick or something.” 

Satisfied, Kiritani turned back to his work but Takaomi could just feel the concerned staring that Yuma and Touji were directing his way. He clicked his tongue in annoyance. Now why’d that rotten carrot roommate of his have to go and fall ill? 

As he expected, the moment the first break rolled around, the other two crowded around his table in a heartbeat. Even Yuni came over, the Italian’s expression half concerned, half curious. 

“Is Nito okay?” Yuma asked, looking significantly down. 

“It’s probably nothing serious.” 

“This is not good, Nito-kun is my friend. I will visit him after school to check up on him and pass him today’s homework as the class monitor.” Touji declared. 

“Don’t just barge into people’s rooms!” 

“Hmm… is Leone not worried about his friend’s wellbeing? Nii-sama told me that friends are very important.” 

“Who’s friends with that lying rabbit?!” 

But it was a futile battle. He knew from the start that the three would somehow force their way into his room, and when the final bell tolled, that’s exactly what they did. 

Only to be greeted by a cheerful Nito, seated comfortably in front of the television, controller in hand. 

“Oh, hey guys!” He beamed, smiling way too brightly. 

Yuma was the first to approach him, Touji not lagging far behind. “Were you not sick?” 

“I was. This morning, it was absolutely horrid. But I’m much better now!” He even flexed to prove his point. 

Touji sighed, “if you were feeling better you should have come to class.” 

“Ehhhh, but I was sick you know. Debilitatingly so. And  _ someone _ always hogs the machine otherwise.” 

Shishimaru felt a vein contract in his head. “Hah?!  _ You’re _ the one who’s always taking up the toilet, asshole!

“But I’m glad you’re better.” Yuma chimed in. 

“Yes, it is a happy development.” Yuni agreed. 

“Nay.” Touji folded his arms. “Now, you’re behind by one lesson. This cannot do. I shall recite the lecture for you, word for word. Come, a student’s job is to study.” 

Senri paled, trying to melt into cushion. “No, it’s really fine.” 

Yuma raised his hand. “Can I listen in? I wasn’t clear about some things.” 

“Of course!” Touji boomed. 

“I want to join too!” Yuni cheered. 

“Wait, wait, wait, something’s not right about this scenario.” Senri was flusteredly saying, waving his hands in a desperate attempt to wiggle his way out. 

Shishimaru sighed. “You guys better not do this in my room.” 

“Understood. We shall impose on you no longer.” Touji announced and, dragging along a still retaliating Senri, the odd group made their way out, leaving Takaomi alone in the quiet. And the dastardly smell of lies. 

He wondered if the others had noticed. How Senri’s complexion was still a few shades off. How his lips were dry and chapped. 

But of all his lies, this was the least harmful one yet. It should be. One of the reasons Takaomi hated lies was because they always end up hurting someone. So he wondered where this fuzzy discomfort was coming from. 

// 

 

Whatever affliction affected Senri, it wasn’t gone even several days later. 

Although the boy smiled and joked and could even get into fights with him, Takaomi still saw the ghost of sickness hovering around.

And it pissed him off.

If it were truly bad then go to the doctor or something. Why parade around like it was all peachy, putting on a brave face like that? And if it weren’t, then well, screw the bastard anyway.

To make matters worse, Senri had been spending a lot of time outside the room as of late only to come back looking drained. Damned idiot. What if he spread the illness to someone, huh? Inconsiderate.

It pissed him off even more.

He yanked unfairly harshly on the handle of his room and was shocked to find that for the first time in a week, there was someone inside before he arrived. Senri, standing there by the window, in between the hamburger curtains, face half turned as he looked out in a way that caught the sunset glow on his skin. Then that shock melted into fear. Because the person that stood there was… unrecognisable. Although he bore the face of his roommate and long-time thorn in his side, there was no expression to be discerned from his features. For Senri who was always putting on a mask of emotion, this was something new, something foreign, and something dreadfully frightening.

Then Senri stirred and Takaomi flinched. The orange haired boy took notice of his roommate and the expression crept back. He smiled, a small gentle curve of the lips accompanied by narrowed eyes.

“Hello, Bakaomi.”

“You ass.”

Senri laughed. Takaomi hadn’t heard that sound in ages. “Well, don’t miss my ass too much, I was just about to leave.”

Again.

The squirming feeling rose in his chest.

But Takaomi stamped it down. “Don’t come back.” He said instead, making a beeline towards his half of the room.

//

 

Senri left the room. He walked slowly, telling himself to take it slow, to breathe. One, two, one, two. Round the corner, into the toilet, into a cubicle, and he crumpled onto the floor. Falling like the flowers flying from his mouth. 

He coughed. And he coughed. Shaking out the petals from his lungs.

Ah, this is bad. It had only been getting worse. He could feel the roots digging about in his ribs. How pathetic. Everything about his situation was pathetic. First he had to fall in unrequited love. Then he dug himself into a hole trying to hide it and he could tell it was killing him slowly. Suffocating him from the inside. He’d really have to get the surgery. But he was so afraid.

Surgical operations involved all forms of sharp tools and strange looking medical equipment. And of course he’d have to face it alone for there was no one really he could depend on to be there for him. In particular this surgery posed another problem in and of itself. An actor works with empathy. He had been warned, that it was likely he would never feel love in the same way ever again. Then he would just become a disappointment to yet more people. Then he would be unworthy of love once again.

The swirling conflict sank in his stomach, pushing all else out as he emptied into the toilet bowl.

He had to make his decision soon.

Soon.

Until he did, he’d have to keep on pretending to be fine.

//

 

In hindsight he should have known. 

Afterall, Takaomi had always had the uncanny ability to see through lies.

Even though he’d been more thorough than ever, all it took was a small crack, Lady Luck playing against him, and it all came crashing down in a rain of shattered glass.

It was a Tuesday, Takaomi was supposed to be out buying CDs but he came back far too early. He would elaborate later, that the weather had been too terrible. But when he opened that door, Senri had been in the midst of cleaning up a fresh pile of upchucked flora, and it was GAME OVER.

“What is the meaning of this?” Takaomi asked. It was quiet, the words straining to be strung together.

“Hmm… I think it’s called hanahaki.” Feigning ignorance, not looking up.

“You bastard!” He strode across the floor, his footsteps loud and purposeful, grabbing Senri by the collar, forcing the other to face him. “How long have you had it?”

Senri struggled to answer, his lies tangling in his throat and threatening to spill in a wave of colour. He coughed them out into his hand.

“That morning. When I skipped class.”

“You have been lying for so long.” It wasn’t as sharp as his usual accusations, and not light enough to be genuine concern.

With a forced smile, Senri looked up. “I’m good at lying, didn’t you know?” And before anything else could be asked, he quickly cut in. “I’m getting the surgery soon anyway.”

There was a beat of silence before Takaomi softened his hold. “Who is it?”

Senri blinked. “Heh, so you do care about me.”

“I don’t.”

“Liar. You’re not very good at telling lies, are you?”

“Stop dodging the question!”

_ But I am. _

Then it happened again, that lack of emotion passing by Senri’s face for half a second.

_ I’m sorry. _

“Yumapi.”

_ I’m very good at lying. _

//

 

Takaomi might keep his feelings to himself because he was easily embarrassed but no one ever said he was good at doing so. 

And Yuma gulped for the upteethm time that day, at the intensity of someone glaring daggers into his skull. He tried focusing on Kiritani sensei’s words instead but whenever it was silent, it was uncomfortable enough to make him squirm.

“Did I… do something wrong?” He asked, nervousness peppering his speech.

In response, Takaomi clicked his tongue and looked away, sending the anxious boy into a state of full blown panic.

“Geez, don’t pick on Yumapi, you dumb lion.” Senri spoke up, cradling the boy like a protective shield.

“Hah?” Takaomi diverted his stare. It was long and expectant. Finally, he huffed, kicking himself way too loudly out of his chair and storming out of class.

Touji and Yuni exchanged glances.

“Leone is acting weird…” Yuki cocked his head to the side, a finger on his chin.

“Yes. Is Shishimaru-kun okay? Did you guys have another fight?” Touji looked pointedly at Senri.

Senri shrugged his shoulders. “I never know what’s going on in that thick skull of his. Sorry, Yumapi, I bet it’s nothing really.”

Not looking remotely convinced, Yuma sighed. “Maybe I did do something wrong. Shishimaru looked really angry.”

“Yumapi, have I ever lied to you?”

“Yes.” Said Yuma.

“You have.” Said Yuni.

“More than once.” Said Touji.

Clutching at his heart, Senri cried out, “have I ever lied when it truly mattered?”

Yuma shook his head.

“Then believe me. It’s really not your fault.” He smiled. “In fact, I’ll beat him up for you when I see him later!”

At first Yuma sighed again, then he perked up. “Yeah, I guess. Thank you, Nito.”

_ I’m sorry. _

//

 

That night it was well past midnight and Senri had not returned to the room even once. Takaomi was sick of it. Sick of the jittery nerves that corrupted his concentration as he tried to game and kept him awake as he lay on his bed. His bed which seemed too full and lopsided compared to the empty one next to it. 

Christ!

He ripped the blanket off. He was going to grab a coke, and then he was going to restart his game, and he’ll be damned if some stupid liar was going to shake him up like that.

Invigorated in his purpose, he didn’t notice another person in front of him in the dark kitchen until he nearly slammed into them.

“Oya, if it isn’t Shishimaru.”

He recognised the voice. That slightly drawly, confident tone.

“Hanabusa.”

“You’re pretty impolite, aren’t you?”

Everything Takaomi wanted to say back was rude and as he decided, wasn’t even worth voicing, so he sidestepped the older male towards the refrigerator.

He didn’t expect the guy to slam a palm against the fridge door, preventing him from accessing its contents.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“Isn’t that my line?” Yanagi started, innocent yet something in him ice cold, “for some reason you terrorised my cute junior. Now, that was really impolite of you.”

The mention of said junior amplifies the fuzziness in his chest and Takaomi growled.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Oh but it is. Since Yuma is  _ my _ partner.”

“Yeah, congratu-fucking-lations. Yuma is such a good guy, isn’t he? Just so nice and likable. Well screw that. I don’t care. It ain’t any of my business if all y’all love him so much.  _ I _ don’t and that’s it! He makes me sick.”

Yanagi quirked an eyebrow.

“All y’all?”

“I already said it’s none of your business. You can do whatever you want. Both you and that shitty rabbit!”

In the darkness, Yanagi withdrew his hand. “Are you implying that cute little Senri likes Yuma?”

Takaomi said nothing.

“ _ Like _ likes Yuma?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Takaomi admitted in a whisper. He’s always hanging out with him, treating him well, protecting him from big bad guys like Takaomi.

“You’re mistaken.” Yanagi said, carefully all of a sudden, somewhat sympathetically. Though it was hard to make out his expression in the dark. “The person Senri likes is you.”

His first thought was, “did you catch the lying disease too?”

However Yanagi laughed. “Oh dear. This is a messy case, isn’t it?”

“What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.”

“Is it that hard to believe, I wonder?”

“But the guy…”  _ has hanahaki disease. He’s putting up a front even though it must be hurting because that’s just the nature of that ailment. Even so he would do it. _ “And he told me…”

_ Lies. Just as he has always told me lies! _

“The coward!”

Abandoning his drink, Takaomi took off without another word. If that piece of shit rabbit thought he could escape him, he had another thing coming.

If Takaomi properly thought about it, there weren’t a lot of places that he could go. For one, he was probably still on campus. From the way Yanagi spoke, he was not likely to be in the Yuma-Yanagi room.

Takaomi ascended the steps two at a time, panting heavily.

Probably not Touji’s either, he probably needed to be in a remote place near a toilet or somewhere he could take care of his fits if he acted up.

He threw open the rooftop access door.

“You lied to me!”

To see Senri, reflecting a startled expression back at him, and the moon hanging high and bright above.

It did not last because Senri was soon seized by another fit and even though Takaomi wanted to grill him about everything, the urgency immediately shrivelled up.

_ He’s coughing really bad. What do I? _

There was some bottled water in a convenience store plastic bag not too far from him. The idiot must have been planning on camping out here. He grabbed it roughly and went to the other. Senri was still coughing his lungs raw and he looked extra miserable with the sheen of tears in his eyes.

Without thought, Takaomi started rubbing awkward circles on the other’s back. Senri leaned into the touch, still wheezing, one hand covering his mouth, but the other grabbing onto the front of Takaomi’s shirt for dear life.

No one knows how long they stay that way but Senri’s episode subsides and over time they had slid progressively lower until they were both on the floor, Senri’s head tucked snugly in that space between Takaomi’s neck and chest.

“Who is it, really?” Takaomi asked, breaking the silence in the most direct way possible.

Weakly, with his eyes closed, Senri murmured, “I think you already know.”

“Say it.”

Senri sighed, “Well, against all better judgement and good taste-”

Takaomi pinched his arm.

“Ow, I somehow fell in love with you.”

It was Takaomi’s turn to sigh.

“I don’t understand you. Why did you lie then? You couldn’t have kept it hidden forever.”

Senri let out a snicker. “I didn’t have to keep it up forever. Just until I got the surgery. Then even if it got out, nothing would matter.”

Takaomi rubbed his temples. “You don’t have to get the surgery, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You really want me gone that bad?”

“No, what I’m saying is… You know, the opposite, you don’t need it. Grow a brain, dumbass.”

Senri craned up to look at the other male properly but Takaomi had preemptively tilted his head upwards.

“No way.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

But Senri was already scrambling up to better look at the other’s face. “Noooooo way.”

“This is so stupid. Stop. Stop smiling.”

There was no way Senri could stop. “Wait, you like me?”

“No one ever said that. Don’t get any closer.” But Senri did. And Takaomi shoved him. There wasn’t a single star in the sky.

“Wow, so romantic.”

“What about us in general ever came across as romantic, really?”

Senri snorted, resting his head back on Takaomi’s shoulder. “I guess you’re right.” He conceded and they lapse back into silence for a bit.

“Hey Shishimaru?”

“Hmm?”

“I like you.”

…

“Oi, idiot.”

“So mean.”

“I like you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> haphazardly written and edited. i haven’t written in a year. this simultaneously has slight spoilers for character stories and is possibly super ooc so i’m sorry. i want to put more things for this pair and that is all.
> 
> i wrote this to ‘bizarre love triangle’ on loop and the sentiment ain’t the same but that’s where the title comes from


End file.
